The great thing about looking at submissive exercises, as some of you said, is to see that we actually do, a lot of times, already do a lot of submissive things. We really do have this down better than we think. We really do do more than we realize.
Another reason I wanted to share these, is because I struggled with a long time on finding ways to be submissive, but also, the Duke wanted to help me become submissive, but he had no real idea how to foster this in me. That is why I began looking and thinking up ways that would work for both of us. Now when he is wondering how to help me, he remembers a lot of the list we have, and uses one of those ideas.
Here are some more suggestions we have tried, or are thinking about trying. I hope they will help you all in some small way, whether it be to see how well you are doing, or to help you find new ways to foster your submission and his dominance.
I will probably only do one more post, and wrap up the list we have in it. But here are more for tonight. :)
Things Your Husband Can Do:
1. Talk in a dominant tone - if your voice is too soft or holds a hint of humour, the Duke really struggled with this, and it was very hard for me to take him seriously as he talked to me as one might talk to a kitten when giving me an order, or when he was near laughing because he was unused to ordering me about, it made it very hard for me to be submissive and respect his authority and strength.
2. Take care of her health - it isn't always what I want, but it means a lot to me if I'm tired that the Duke tells me to go to bed early, or take a nap, or if I'm not well, that he orders me to lie down and then he takes care of me, or that he makes sure I don't over work myself.
3. Put your arm around her possessively when hanging out with others - around the shoulders, around the waist, it makes a woman feel extra special when a man shows he's her protector to others, I simply LOVE when the Duke does this, it makes me feel so wanted, so safe. Another way he makes me feel owned is that he holds my hand slightly tighter than he has to, and almost leads me as we walk around a store, or out in public. It lets me know he has me, and is taking care of me.
4. Remind her that you expect her to be good for you - when leaving for work, when going out together, when she goes out alone, but also let her know that you have faith in her that she can, when the Duke does this to me, I just feel, well, responsible to behave for him, reminded that I have to answer to him, and wanting to make him proud
5. Help her set up a chore list - and check with her often to see that she is keeping to it, and offer suggestions if you find she is over worked, or needs the list rebalanced, and let the chore list be for more than a clean house. A clean house helps me feel relaxed, especially when company drops by unannounced, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, I am less irritable in a clean house, and we focus on these reasons more so than the house being clean, and in that it helps me feel cared for and that the Duke cares about my well being.
6. Help her to cut back when needed - we woman often take on too much, with too little time for ourselves, I was involved in eight committees at church, and didn't realize how many, and too much of my time was taken up, so the Duke and I sat down and cut that list down to something very manageable.
7. Tell her how good she was - it feels so good to be told how proud the Duke is when I have obeyed, when I've accomplished something hard, I need his encouragement as much as I need his direction and discipline, it makes me feel so good to make him proud of me.
8. Keep her with you - I tend to walk away when angry, feeling I need time and space to think things through, but mostly, I just want the Duke away from me, I want to be strong on my own, but this is not good for me, and when left to my own thoughts too long when I'm upset or angry, then my thoughts turn dark, and darker. But when he steps in and talks to me, then he keeps the thoughts from feeding on themselves.
Things You Can Do Yourself:
1. Give him the best - Give him the best selections of meat at dinner, the largest piece of dessert. When doing other things, still give him the best, the fluffiest pillow, the softest towel, the plate without a chip, the first dentist appointment, the comfiest seat.
2. Write him a letter saying how you like being submissive to him - things you do that help you feel this way, and how it makes
you feel loved, feminine, cared for, special, peaceful, less stressed,
more sexy. The more your reflect on it, the more you may find that very submission growing.
3. Let him order and pay - tell him if there is something you really don't want, but see how well he knows you, let him order your meal for you, and let him end the evening by paying the bill.
4. Give him a massage - even if you are tired, offer him a back, scalp, foot massage, or what have you.
5. Hand him the remote - let him decide what you watch for the evening, and watch it with him. Or go to the movie theatre and let him pick the movie he wants to watch.
6. Doing what he likes - learn about something he likes so you can talk to him about it. If it is
something he does outside of the house, offer to go along once in a while, it
might make him feel special, but also do not get offended if this is something
he likes to do without you.
7. Remember him when shopping - get his favourite snack, did he mention something he's been needing, ie deodorant, shampoo, pick it up for him.
8. Ask him to share a fantasy. - Pick a night within the next week and do all you can to fulfill it. If you have to buy things, go out shopping, if you have to set up the room, spend an afternoon getting it perfect. Then surprise him with it.
Submission Exercises - Post 1 is HERE
Submission Exercises - Conclusion - Post 3 is HERE