UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Submission Exercises - Continued

The great thing about looking at submissive exercises, as some of you said, is to see that we actually do, a lot of times, already do a lot of submissive things.  We really do have this down better than we think.  We really do do more than we realize.

Another reason I wanted to share these, is because I struggled with a long time on finding ways to be submissive, but also, the Duke wanted to help me become submissive, but he had no real idea how to foster this in me.  That is why I began looking and thinking up ways that would work for both of us.  Now when he is wondering how to help me, he remembers a lot of the list we have, and uses one of those ideas.

Here are some more suggestions we have tried, or are thinking about trying.  I hope they will help you all in some small way, whether it be to see how well you are doing, or to help you find new ways to foster your submission and his dominance.

I will probably only do one more post, and wrap up the list we have in it.  But here are more for tonight. :)

Things Your Husband Can Do:
1.  Talk in a dominant tone - if your voice is too soft or holds a hint of humour, the Duke really struggled with this, and it was very hard for me to take him seriously as he talked to me as one might talk to a kitten when giving me an order, or when he was near laughing because he was unused to ordering me about, it made it very hard for me to be submissive and respect his authority and strength.
2.  Take care of her health - it isn't always what I want, but it means a lot to me if I'm tired that the Duke tells me to go to bed early, or take a nap, or if I'm not well, that he orders me to lie down and then he takes care of me, or that he makes sure I don't over work myself.
3.  Put your arm around her possessively when hanging out with others - around the shoulders, around the waist, it makes a woman feel extra special when a man shows he's her protector to others, I simply LOVE when the Duke does this, it makes me feel so wanted, so safe.  Another way he makes me feel owned is that he holds my hand slightly tighter than he has to, and almost leads me as we walk around a store, or out in public.  It lets me know he has me, and is taking care of me.
4.  Remind her that you expect her to be good for you - when leaving for work, when going out together, when she goes out alone, but also let her know that you have faith in her that she can, when the Duke does this to me, I just feel, well, responsible to behave for him, reminded that I have to answer to him, and wanting to make him proud
5.  Help her set up a chore list - and check with her often to see that she is keeping to it, and offer suggestions if you find she is over worked, or needs the list rebalanced, and let the chore list be for more than a clean house.  A clean house helps me feel relaxed, especially when company drops by unannounced, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, I am less irritable in a clean house, and we focus on these reasons more so than the house being clean, and in that it helps me feel cared for and that the Duke cares about my well being.
6.  Help her to cut back when needed - we woman often take on too much, with too little time for ourselves, I was involved in eight committees at church, and didn't realize how many, and too much of my time was taken up, so the Duke and I sat down and cut that list down to something very manageable.
7.  Tell her how good she was - it feels so good to be told how proud the Duke is when I have obeyed, when I've accomplished something hard, I need his encouragement as much as I need his direction and discipline, it makes me feel so good to make him proud of me.
8.  Keep her with you - I tend to walk away when angry, feeling I need time and space to think things through, but mostly, I just want the Duke away from me, I want to be strong on my own, but this is not good for me, and when left to my own thoughts too long when I'm upset or angry, then my thoughts turn dark, and darker.  But when he steps in and talks to me, then he keeps the thoughts from feeding on themselves.

Things You Can Do Yourself:
1.  Give him the best - Give him the best selections of meat at dinner, the largest piece of dessert.  When  doing other things, still give him the best, the fluffiest pillow, the softest towel, the plate without a chip, the first dentist appointment, the comfiest seat.
2.  Write him a letter saying how you like being submissive to him -  things you do that help you feel this way, and how it makes you feel loved, feminine, cared for, special, peaceful, less stressed, more sexy.  The more your reflect on it, the more you may find that very submission growing.
3.  Let him order and pay - tell him if there is something you really don't want, but see how well he knows you, let him order your meal for you, and let him end the evening by paying the bill.
4.  Give him a massage - even if you are tired, offer him a back, scalp, foot massage, or what have you. ;)
5.  Hand him the remote - let him decide what you watch for the evening, and watch it with him.  Or go to the movie theatre and let him pick the movie he wants to watch.
6.  Doing what he likes - learn about something he likes so you can talk to him about it. If it is something he does outside of the house, offer to go along once in a while, it might make him feel special, but also do not get offended if this is something he likes to do without you.
7.  Remember him when shopping - get his favourite snack, did he mention something he's been needing, ie deodorant, shampoo, pick it up for him.
8.  Ask him to share a fantasy.  - Pick a night within the next week and do all you can to fulfill it.  If you have to buy things, go out shopping, if you have to set up the room, spend an afternoon getting it perfect.  Then surprise him with it.

Submission Exercises - Post 1 is HERE
Submission Exercises - Conclusion - Post 3 is HERE

14 comments:

  1. This is a great idea to have a list when things get shaky or you want to mix things up or just a reminder. I'm going to start one.

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    1. Leah, this list has been a blessing to me, and some I still have not done, but want to try in the future. It just is so helpful to have a list to look to when I start to flounder. :)

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  2. Nice work EsMay I'm sure you are going to help many with these suggestions!

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    1. It would be nice if it did. I remember just wishing I had ideas to be submissive, and really struggling with ways to grow. I debated this post for a while, because I wondered if the figuring out the submissive exercises was part of the journey, but then figured it can be a frustrating part, and even discouraging, that I decided to share in the end. I do hope it will be helpful to someone out there. :)

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  3. Hi Es May, really enjoyed this and your last post. Having a list is a great idea and these are some awesome suggestions. I too am sure you will give many of us food for thought.

    Handing him the remote is something we do. When we are spending time together he controls the remote and what we watch or listen to. He does always ask me what I would like, but ultimately the decision is his.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. I love that, yeah, we kind of do the same here, but every once in a while the Duke hands me the remote, and for some reason that always makes me feel incredibly special. :) {{{hugs}}}

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  4. Thank you for this post, this is something I struggle with, some great ideas that might just help.
    honey

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    1. Hey, Ashley Lee, from time to time we all do. {{{hugs}}} What is great, is that you want to try to work on it. :)

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  5. Love number three in the first list! Wish Dan would do that - he is far too reserved much of the time. As for TV remotes - Ha! Dan has been in charge of the blessed thing since they were invented!

    Hugs
    Ami

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    1. Hehehe, Ami, well you might just have to let him know how much you would love it if he got more possessive. ;) Well, I guess you can't quite give him the remote if he already has it, lol. {{{hugs}}}

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  6. This is a great list EsMay! I need to do a better job at some of these things!!

    Hugs

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    1. Jennelle, me too. :) I'm working on it, and having this list has really helped. :) {{{hugs}}}

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  7. Love love love your lists! Such great ideas. Thanks for sharing. :)

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    1. Kenzie, thank you so much. :) And you're very welcome. :)

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