UNDER CONSTRUCTION

We had to take down all our posts for a while. We did not realize that to put them back up would repost them in everyone's feeds. We apologize for that. We also will do our best, as life allows, to get the rest of the posts up as soon as possible. :)

Sincerely, The Duke and EsMay

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

What I've Learned This Year - Part 1 - Letting Go

As my first year of blogging approaches, I wanted to share some things I learned along the past year.  If you are new to the journey, maybe they can help you out.  If you've been on the journey for a while, well, you might just be able to sympathize because maybe you made some of the same mistakes, or triumps. :)

Today, I look back, and see how idealistic I was.  Now, don't get me wrong, I think in order to start this journey, it has to be that way.  But in my idealistic view, I had it in my head just how the Duke would act, think, and speak. 

Yep, laugh.  I'll stop for a minute.

Done yet? ;)  Still need more time?

LOL

So, when the Duke did start stepping up, it did NOT look anything like the vision in my head.  Please, DON'T ask him how many times I said "But you're not supposed to do it this way!"  Yes, I am hanging my head in shame, it was more than I can probably count on BOTH HANDS!  *so embarrassed*  Okay, not so much, because I needed this growing experience.  I mean, honestly, if he acted just how I wanted... who really would be in charge here?

This is when real submission can start, when your husband goes off "your" course and onto his own.  Now he's really leading.  Now manipulation, little hints, suggestions, flat out begging, they no longer work.  He's figured an idea out in his head, and he's going to go with it.  And that is SO OKAY! :) 

Yes, there are times I don't like what the Duke is going to do... but to be honest, I probably need the correction even more in those moments.  I probably need the words of correction, the tone, THE LOOK.  Oh, none of you get the look?  *whistling innocently*  Um... me neither then. ;)

DD is so different than I dreamed.  Bad?  Not a chance.  It's SO MUCH BETTER. :)

I think I'll try every couple days to write something short that I've learned this year until my year marker. :)  That is if I don't bore you all before then. ;)

20 comments:

  1. Es May
    What a great post! I love you you say dd is so much better than you imagined. Congratulations
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Meredith. :) It is better, different, but better. :)

      Delete
  2. You certainly have come a long way. I have enjoyed reading about your journey and will look forward to another year

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Blondie. :) Somehow I missed your comment when checking earlier, sorry about that! :( And thank you for reading along, and enjoying it at that... I so worry I'll bore the pants off everyone. Hopefully I'll find lots of wonderful things to write about next year. :)

      Delete
  3. Happy DDversary Es May! Oh you made me laugh and am very happy to read that DD is much better than you imagined! BTW...*waving* Hey Duke...so proud of you for stepping up and being the HoH you both need! :D

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Cat, so glad that I could make you laugh. :) The Duke isn't here with me right now, but will make sure that he reads this comment. :) {{{HUGS}}}

      Delete
  4. Hey Es May, I love this post and hope you do write some more leading up to your anniversary. Wow, a year of blogging! :)

    I love that you say DD is better than you imagined. The reality is so much different to what you imagined in the beginning isn't it? But honey, you're not supposed to do it THAT way ... yep, been there done that :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Roz, hopefully the rests of the posts will be good too. :) What, you've made the same mistakes too? I don't believe it. ;) {{{HUGS}}}

      Delete
  5. Congratulations! I get what you mean about true leading when your husband follows his own course. Hope the next year is even better!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leah, thank you so much. I hope so too. :) And yes, it can be hard, but they do have to lead their own course. :)

      Delete
  6. This wasn't boring! I loved reading it and it is so true. We often have scenes playing in our head of how we want things to go... If only he would say this and do this... and it rarely happens that way. You are right about how when the husband goes off course on to his own they are truly leading. Such a good post Es May.

    hugs
    sara

    And congrats!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey Sara, so true. :) Rarely does something play out the way I think it will in my head. And thank you for thinking this wasn't boring. :) {{{HUGS}}}

      Delete
  7. Hi Es May!! :) I loved this post and will look forward to reading the ones that talk about what you have learned!! Could never be boring! :)

    Rob has always done stuff his own way here. I am sometimes so surprised at what he comes up with or finds important. All really good!

    I totally agree with you- it is so much better! Happy Almost First Blogiversary! It is always nice to read here and hear from you! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hehe, well thank you, Katie, though I'm not sure about the claim saying I could never be boring. Many might disagree with you. ;) You know, I sometimes am surprised here too at what the Duke finds important, but you know, the great thing is that they now feel comfortable enough let us know these things we didn't know before. :) {{{HUGS}}}

      Delete
  8. Congrats Es May! I think we all have a image in our heads when we first start out and I think all of our HOH's step up in their own way :)

    I can't wait to read more as your anniversary approaches.
    Kim

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. OH Kim, and thank goodness they do. :) I'd make such a mess of things if it truly ran that way I'd dreamed. ;) And thank you, hopefully I'll share some interesting things.

      Delete
  9. So amazing! Congrats on the 1 yr of blogging, but more importantly on finding your own way. I know it can be difficult to let go of the idea in your head, but real life is so much better. I can't wait to read more, and thanks for sharing your journey. :)

    HUGS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennelle, so true, real life is so much better. :) Dreams are only one sided, reality involves two people. :) And thank you for being excited fo rmy posts, that means a lot. :) {{{HUGS}}}

      Delete
  10. What look???? Lol ;)
    Just kidding. I think I get it daily ;)
    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL Elle, stinker. ;) But sorry that you get the look daily, lol.

      Delete

Please feel free to leave any comments, but I do ask you to be kind. We go into this with eyes wide open after months of prayer, and a peace in our hearts that this is the right choice before God for our marriage. I am open to questions from those who wonder why we made this choice, but I would ask for no personal attacks. Thank you. :)

Troll comments and spam will be deleted.