Monday, January 27, 2014

The BUT In Being Thankful

I don't have much to share today, so thought I'd post something I shared on a forum on Saturday.  I actually had two good things I shared on there this weekend, so maybe another day this week I'll put the other one up. :)  Here it is. :)

I was not feeling well today, fighting this cold I just can't seem to get a head of. The Duke surprised me with breakfast in bed, and then lunch in bed. He also cleaned the bathroom because he knew I'd be going to do it today. The bathtub was even wiped down and around the toilet as well.

I walk in and see him on the floor, mopping the floor around where we keep the cats' litter... with a white face cloth. And all the sudden there was panic inside of me, and I couldn't stop the words that tumbled from my mouth. They were said respectfully, but they were still out before I realized it. "Are you using a wash cloth on the floor?" I could see uncertainty cross his face, and he admitted with a sudden guiltful expression that he was, and I could tell that up to that moment, he was so happy to be helping me.

I was thankful that he'd done the whole room, why did that panic rise up in me? It's a cloth, a piece of material. He had given up his free time to help me out because I wasn't feeling well, something I'm not sure he ever did before DD, at least not to this extent.

And then it hit me, I didn't care about the cloth. I never did. But one day his mom got after me that I didn't take care of our wash cloths and towels the way she thought I should, and ever since then, I've allowed this worry to build.

But now I'm not going to. My husband helped me today. He took care of me, and did things for me so that I'd be able to rest without worrying about getting so much done today. I almost let that piece of cloth steal my peace. I apologized to the Duke profusely, and he sees now that I did not mean to hurt him in my accusation, and I am so thankful he wasn't hurt, and has forgiven me.

Does that every happen to any of you? You're thankful, BUT.... I know this used to be an issue for me in other areas too, and now that I recognize it, I'm going to be working on it.

***If you would like to participate in HoH Day, the info is in the post before this one. :)  It's February 1st, this coming Saturday. :)

18 comments:

  1. Last night we had a mound of dishes in the sink that had to be handwashed (such as large pots and such) I asked SM if he would do those while I cleaned up the rest of the kitchen. I rarely ask him to help me because he does so much already. I wasn't paying attention to him, as I was working myself but then when I finished up I turned and saw that he had a bathtowel on the counter with the pots drying on it. I was like, "Is that the towel our son just used after his shower?" He said it WAS! I was mortified and got in trouble for "lecturing" him but a bath towel??? Used??? Ew!!! Not sanitary!!!

    SO I totally understand your washcloth ordeal. Glad your Duke wasn't upset!

    love
    sara

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    1. LOL. Okay Sara, yours wins. Lol. Poor SM. Yeah, I would be worried about my dishes on an already used towel too. Sorry you got in trouble over lecturing, it can be so hard not to sometimes... can't it?

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    2. I was pretty grossed out by it. Now he knows but will he listen? Nope, I doubt it. Maybe I should wash the dishes myself. :)

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    3. You could, but sadly, I have learned that trust also means second chances... so you may find one day you need to let him do the dishes on occasion just so you can let go of control. Or am I the only one that struggles like that? ;)

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    4. Control issues? Um uh... well maybe just a tad here too! lol :)

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    5. Always good to know that I'm not alone. LOL ;)

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  2. Oh yes, I've done this before :( I'm much better about it now, but for a while whenever he would help me or do a chore for me, I thought he was doing it because he didn't think I did it good enough. I don't know why his help makes me so defensive, but now that I know it, I can work on it. I also used to refold the laundry he did, now I'm just grateful! I'm glad you realized it too, and are working on it :)

    Hugs!!

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    1. Oh, Jennelle, I have to walk away when he is doing the towels, lol, or I WOULD get myself in BIG trouble for all my suggestions. Lol. I am glad you see now that he does realize you can do things right. :)

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  3. I struggle with things like this all the time Es May, it's REALLY hard for me to accept help with the house work without making suggestions. I have learned that I just need to walk away & not watch & then if I have to when he is not around I re do the things I can't live with. For the record, I would have flipped if my husband used a face cloth to clean the bathroom or a dirty bath towel on the clean dishes-I am a total germ-a-phob-and gotten in major trouble......I am really really trying to relinquish my control but it is so so hard sometimes.
    Good for you for reining it in before you ended up in trouble!
    Scarlet ; )

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    1. LOL Scarlet, I totally get needing to walk away. :) I wonder sometimes if I can overcome even that, but at least for now, I can just smile at him, leave, and then not say anything to get myself into trouble. :) I'm seeing, and am thankful, that I am not alone in my struggle, that I'm not so different in this area. :)

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  4. Those, I'm thankful but, moments happen more than I'd like here! It's hard to not notice the little things. Good for you for letting it go, and focusing on your man and the fact that he was helping you. That's great! :)

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    1. Kenzie, it really is hard not to notice the little things, and I wonder where it is we all picked these traits from. I'm seeing so many of us struggle. I hope it's something we can all look back on in a few years, and say, wow, that was such a big deal??? :)

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  5. LOL Es May...reacted similarly when I was younger but have changed as I had children and grew older. Have you seen the commercial on TV where the mother with the first child takes forever to get out of the house...packing every single contingency! Then with the second child, she's grabbing the kids and snacks off the floor. *snicker*

    Now I want you to really look at this...look how far you've come! You stopped yourself, recognized the behavior that could cause issues and corrected it...you should be very proud of yourself lady! Hope you get to feeling better soon.

    Sending lots of prayers and healing energy your way.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    1. Wow, Cat, thank you, I guess I have come quite a ways, because before, I would have really let the panic take control. I wouldn't have gone postal or anything, but the Duke's feelings really would have been hurt, and his joy in helping me would have been destroyed. I wish I had written my pre DD behaviours down, to see how much we really have grown. :) And working with kids, I do find I have way more grace initially with them, but am glad it is growing for the Duke as well. :) {{{hugs}}}

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  6. Oh yes, those thankful BUT moments happen here from time to time too. Rick jokes (ok, half jokes) that he doesn't want to do xyz because he's afraid it wouldn't be to my standard LoL.

    Good on you for how your recognised what was happening and turned it around. That is awesome and speaking as an OCD type, not easy to do! Way to go on not letting that pice of cloth steal you piece and truly appreciating what the Duke did for you. That was so loving and sweet of him. :)

    I hope you are feeling better soon. Get plenty of rest and take care of yourself.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. LOL Now is he half joking, or getting himself out of housework? J/K. :) I think I do have a few OCD tendencies, and I think that is what I am letting go of as well. :) And thank you, I think I am starting to heal. {{{hugs}}}

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  7. Hope you're feeling better.

    It was great for Duke to step in and help out. Wash cloths can be replaced

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    1. Thank you, Leigh, starting to heal, I think. :) And you are so right, wash cloths can be replaced, and I am so thankful I realized that in time. :)

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